As the Queen reached 90 years of age, discussions around our ageing population began to feature more prominently in the media. As a society, we are living longer than ever before, and while this is something to celebrate, it also brings new challenges for families.

In particular, so-called “grown-up” children — typically aged between 45 and 65 — often find that a significant part of their time is taken up caring for elderly parents. Many are balancing work, grandchildren, relationships and their own health, while quietly managing increasing responsibilities.

The hidden workload of caring for parents

Research highlighted in the Sunday Times on the 27th of March shed light on the many unseen tasks families carry out for elderly relatives. The research identified the “big three” responsibilities as:

  • Shopping
  • Driving to health appointments
  • Dealing with financial matters

While these tasks may seem manageable individually, together they can place considerable strain on families over time.

The impact on health and family life

The research focused on the pressures facing “grown-up” children and found that over half of Britons aged 45–54 believed their own health was suffering due to worries about an ageing parent. Despite this, many do not openly talk about the emotional and physical toll caring responsibilities can take.

Other concerns included:

  • A lack of free time for themselves
  • Difficulty planning for their own future
  • Strained relationships with siblings and partners
  • Feelings of guilt when they cannot be present all the time

For many families, caring becomes an ongoing responsibility rather than a short-term situation, making support increasingly important.

Support for the “sandwich generation”

Specific websites and resources exist for different life stages. Just as “Netmums” supports parents with young children, new platforms such as “Age Space” are emerging to support “grown-up” children. These services aim to provide advice, practical support and forums for people navigating care responsibilities for older relatives.

Access to reliable information and shared experiences can help families feel less isolated and more confident in their decisions.

Why families turn to care companies

Commenting on the findings, Independent Living owner Mark Booker said:

“These findings do not surprise me. Having founded our care company over five years ago, I expected most of our work to involve personal care for people who are seriously ill. However, I was surprised to find that companionship and practical support — such as taking someone to an outpatient hospital appointment — were in the highest demand.”

Many “grown-up” children have demanding jobs, family commitments and grandchildren, meaning they simply cannot be available at all times. In addition, plans for retirement, holidays or time together as a couple are often placed on hold due to a parent’s declining health.

Increasingly, families are choosing services such as transport to medical appointments and bespoke care in your own home to help reduce pressure while ensuring their loved one is supported.

Sharing the responsibility

Accepting support does not mean families are stepping back — it means sharing responsibility in a sustainable way. With the right care in place, families can focus on spending quality time together rather than feeling overwhelmed by practical tasks.

If you are helping to care for an elderly parent and would like to explore support options, please contact us to discuss how we can help lighten the load.